99 Names Series: Al-Wadud (The Most Affectionate/Loving)
Muzlimbuzz is starting a series called “The 99 Names of Allah” where writers & readers reflect on one Name from the 99 Beautiful Names of Allah and talk about why that particular Name is significant to them, or how they have seen that Name manifest in their lives. If you would like to submit your writing for this series, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.[divider]
“He loves me, he loves me not.”
Cue de- petaled flower and a myriad of sappy romance novels along with staying up in bed and listening to Adele. All the while with a box of tissue beside you to wipe the streaming tears cascading down your cheeks with every note belted out that hits you straight in the heart.
While I’m almost certain some people do become the walking embodiment of Sorrow when they get their hearts broken, I know the rest of us manage to retain our sanity, endure the hurt, and move on with our lives no matter how much we want to wallow in self pity. Most girls would be able to relate to this. Looking for Mr.Right, thinking you’ve found him, being happy and in the blink of an eye, it’s all over for reasons that range from “I just fell out of love” to “It’s not you, its me”.
Recently though, I encountered a pretty remarkable experience. It was after a pretty bad phase then, I was heartbroken by a guy who did not even notice my existence. (Thinking back, I feel really stupid about weeping. What a waste of my tears!) So, I was really melancholic and a small little thing like seeing couples in public could spoil my entire day. No one noticed this though because I was usually down when I was alone.
So, one fine day, I just finished doing my ‘Asr prayers, I was tempted to just turn the music on and chill when I spied my little red pocket Qur’an waving at me out of the corner of my eye. For some reason, I stopped reaching for my phone and took the Mushaf instead. I started reciting the first few verses and felt calmer with every verse that came out of my mouth. Take note that while I was reading the Holy Book, I was still thinking about how I would never find a person to spend the rest of my life with. I was not completely focused on my recitations until I reached this verse:
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Qur’an, 2:153)
This hit me straight in the heart and I doubled over crying. My sorrow over the feelings was real, as naïve as it seemed and I felt like Allah was speaking to me right then, telling me that everything was going to be alright if I prayed and was patient. Not even after the many consoling words of my best friends, my cousin and my mother was I able to feel better about it but when I read this simple verse, it hit me so hard that Allah actually pays attention to my feelings.
My seemingly irrelevant and unnecessary emotions that affected no other person except myself, Allah listens and He hears. He Hears and He comforts. I immediately was overwhelmed with the love that emanated from Him to his servants. The first thing that came to my mind with tears streaming down my face was His name: Al Wadud, the All Loving.
He is the Almighty, the One who created this earth and the universes that surrounds it. He is the one that gives life and death, the one that literally, makes the world go round. He did not have to care about how I felt, but He did, and He acknowledged the pain I was going through. That was the most I cried, but this time, the tears weren’t out of sorrow.
They were tears of relief.
Since then, my heart has gotten considerably calmer. Seeing happy couples make me smile instead of feeling lonely and unwanted. My quest to find my Mr. Right has changed to finding Mr. Righteous and is still ongoing, but I am definitely not as overzealous as I was previously. It is all because, finding true love does not mean, meeting the right person, falling in love and living life all rainbows and butterflies. It means finding someone who has the same love you have for the Almighty, who loves you for who you are and sharing a life together striving to please Him.
Because the one true love that is eternal and never fails, is the love from the All Loving and Most Affectionate to his servants.
Trust me, you will never be heart broken in this relationship.
Radhiatul Mardhiyah Mustaffa
Mardhiyah graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Applied Food Science and Nutrition. She’s an aspiring writer who blogs her mind at http://marmardee.wordpress.com/