Do You Give Your Parents Money?
Picture: Thick wallet with 1K notes
Caption: OMG. Life goals. #lifegoals #rich #yolo
*scrolls feed again*
Post: My parents seriously??!! What the. Urgh.
*scrolls feed again..*
Post: BTO money, transport, road tax, bills. When am I getting rich?!
This is the kind of world we live in now, unfortunately. We have become so materialistic. We allow a perishable object like money to define our happiness. On some days, we see people ranting about their parents and siblings openly on their social networking feed because “it is their accounts.” Sometimes, we see these posts posted by youths as young as 13 years old. But that’s not really my point.
I turned 21 this year. And I’d like to speak to all my fellow 21-ers who struggle like I do. I am at the juncture in my life where I have to fulfill my individual responsibilities as a young working adult – paying my own bills, transports and all that jazz.
When I first started earning my own income a year ago, my mother taught me how to plan my finances. The first thing she said (and emphasised) was, “Always give me a portion of it.” But Lo and behold! We can’t run away from the associated frustrations. Sometimes we may feel that our parents don’t need our money because they have their own income too. The responsibilities may sometimes feel like a burden and we think to ourselves, “I shall skip this month since I’ve given them last month.” Now this is my point.
So, to give or not to give?
When Allah SWT wills, we all can get stuck at one point of the month. After a month’s worth of hard work, that $10 left in our wallet is so precious that we had to forgo eating our favourite Long John Silver’s for lunch. Must eat $3.50 Mee Soto! Can survive two more days. Drink from water cooler. Have we ever questioned why we end up in that state? Why are we always stuck? This is where we need to re-evaluate what we give back to our parents.
There are ‘high-peak’ or ‘more important’ months such as the month with three of your best friends’ birthdays that requires a huge withdrawal from your monthly salary. We tend to prioritise those needs over our responsibility as a child. We either give our parents a little lesser, or worst, none at all. Here lies our fault. This will eventually become a habit. A bad, bad habit. When our parents start asking about this very sensitive issue, we pull a face. Anyone guilty? Don’t raise your hands.
The problem with us is, we are not confident that our rizq is set. We are not confident that we will survive through the month. We are not confident that Allah The Provider will replace it with better things. We are not confident that Allah SWT will help us. We think the salary we earn is solely from our hard work. We don’t have Yaqeen. “If I give this amount to my parents, then I don’t have enough to buy iPhone 6….”
Give and let go. We need to give with full faith. In giving to our parents, we don’t get poorer. Some of us may disagree but money has caused more fitnah than we could have imagined. We get frustrated because we fail to grasp this important concept of giving. Could money truly be the root of all evils?
I guess we should really start measuring the worth of being stingy to our God-sent guardians. Allah SWT is pleased with us when our parents are pleased with us. Isn’t that our ultimate goal? Now that’s #yolo and #lifegoals.
We should start having faith, confidence and Yaqeen that we are not at a loss when we give to our parents. A dear friend taught me that when our right hand offers to our parents, we should silently recite, Rabbanā Taqabbal Minnā (Our Lord! Accept (this worship) from us) with full confidence that it is a part of ‘Ibadah. No turning back. Ikhlas. No regrets. Have faith that our rizq will always flow.
As Allah SWT mentioned in the Qur’an,
They ask you, [O Muhammad], what they should spend. Say, “Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.” [Al Baqarah : 215]
So to all my fellow 21-ers who have just entered this new world of responsibilities and are facing these predicaments, welcome to the club! Keep calm and in the words of the wise Kung Fu Panda, “Inner peace….”
So where are you at in this stage? #awakkatmane?
May this help.
Faridah is an aspiring film student who strongly believes in finding knowledge. She believes in counting her blessings in times of struggles.